Squirrel Balls

The cutest squirrel balls you’ll ever see

A few weeks ago our landscaper found a couple of baby squirrels and we’ve been raising them ever since. They were three or four weeks old when we got them, old enough that their eyes were open and they had fur, but not old enough to be all that active. Here we are at six or seven weeks old and their actively level has shot through the roof, they’ve gotten squirrelly.

Soon they should be old enough to be let free. In the meantime they live in my sun room.

Do you like little poop pellets?

This room was clean one hour ago.

This room was clean one hour ago.

It’s an interesting fact that squirrels will not go to the bathroom in their nest. The other side of this statement is that they’ll go anywhere else that suits them. This includes the floor, your furniture, and even you. Squirrels produce small and hard poop pellets, of which they produce about a billion a day. Even when locked in their cage you will still manage to find little poops all over the house. I believe they ride on the wind like a dandelion seed.

The only upside to all of this is that the poops come out dry and scentless. I guess that’s a win.

Squirrels will scratch the holy hell out you.

Squirrel Scratches

This is my hand. Its actually a good scratch day.

Squirrels have sharp little claws, unlike a cat, these claws are always out. Squirrels also love to climb on you, its a wondrous squirrel activity to run up and down and all around you as you scream in pain from the thousand cut torture. Sadly, you’ll find yourself liking this. My hands look like a teenage cutter. I keep squirrels so that I can feel.

Another thing of note, squirrels can jump very far. If you get within ten feet of a squirrel and they want on you, they’ll jump on you. This could mean jumping on your back, your head, or your face. Good times.

Squirrels Enjoy Chewing

Wicker Chair

I left them alone near our sun room furniture.

Wicker furniture seems to be the favorite chew toy. They’ll also chew up all of the plastic bits in their cage, turn any branches you give them to saw dust, and they also enjoy shredding fabric. If you want to keep something, don’t leave it where a squirrel can find it.

Squirrels do not Have Empathy

Unless you have food on your person, squirrels are indifferent to your problems. They do not come over to be petted, they do not want to cuddle. If they do not want to be picked up even their most gentlest attempts to escape result in painful scratches.

They’re you’re best friend if you have food. All the same they’ll stab you in the face for a walnut.

Chill Squirrel